When it comes to finding the reason for sex differences in communication styles I find it almost impossible to pick on side or the other. The fact is that we will never know which causes a difference in communication styles in Men and Women because we cannot view the differences with out look at both the biological and culture influences.
I found what Lauren Brizendine wrote very interesting and surprising. Coming in, I was probably leaning a little more to the aspect of culture. However, Brizendine made some really good points. Her discussion about males and females level of estrogen and testosterone. Her concept that women being more focused on harmonious relationships and it’s relation to an evolutionary hard-wiring. That fact that women focus more on peace allowed them to survive and help raise children because they could easily read how another person was feeling or needed.
On the other side, Brenda J. Allen says, “We learn communication styles and and rules based upon our membership in certain groups, and we communicate with other people based upon how we have been socialized about ourselves and about them.” I would have to agree with most of this statement. I agree that we do learn how to communicate through interaction with others and how we participate in certain groups. How often do we find ourselves (though unwillingly) saying something and right after thinking that we sounded just like our parents?
However, I think of we are who are from the start. For example, I have always been a little shier. Even as a baby, I was shy and this is something that has not changed in my existence. So, I think there is a balance of who we are and what what learn that contributes to our communication styles. Then, adding in evolutionary hard-wiring we get what we get.
Questions:
- Do you think our physical differences affect our communication differences (Women are smaller and therefore have a more passive communication style)?
- Do you change your communication styles depending on what group setting you are in?
I think physical differences might play a small part in communication differences. As we saw in the video on Wed. most of the domestic violence cases and such are generally commited by men. It is also more typically for men to use a more powerful style of communication so I could see a correlation there.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree that it is difficult, if not impossible to isolate cultural vs. biological influences, because the two are so mixed any time after infancy that it is impossible to separate the two.
ReplyDeleteI have to say though, I don't know that Brizendine's argument of cavewomen holds much water. How is she, or anyone else to know, that women didn't talk to each other about how to avoid an angry caveman? Or that they simply didn't pay more conscious attention to a baby's expressions since they were the primary caregiver? I don't think she sufficiently proved that biology was the basis for that difference.
In response to your second question, I definitely change my communication style in different settings. I am more open, expressive, and adopt a more feminine style of communication around my family, boyfriend, and only those friends who I am really close to. When I'm interacting with those less connected to me, I adopt a more masculine communication style and don't share emotions near as much. I am more assertive and competitive.
ReplyDeleteI feel that I do change my communication style depending on who I'm talking to. I've noticed that I sensor myself when talking to my grandma, and "gossip" more around girls. I think its about conforming so that you fit in with the group or person your with at the time. It happens whether you notice it or not.
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