The fact that debate is entirely black and white, that one must choose a side in the determination of research results, speaks volumes as to why differences exist in the first place. As Brizendine pointed out in her opening argument, biological differences do exist between men and women and though subtle, though far outnumbered by the similarities, those differences can be profound. Brain size in men is proportionally larger to women’s, as are nearly every other organ in the human body, while a woman’s brain is more dense than men’s. Brizendine also points out that men and women typically use different areas of the brain in communicating the same thoughts, feelings, and ideas as well as in problem solving situations. However, Brizendine offers no concrete evidence that empirically supports exactly what effects the biological differences in the brain have on communication styles. Though men and women use different areas of the brain to solve problems, there is no research presented that describes the effects of using the different areas on communication style, or on any other facet of identity for that matter. She instead focuses her attention on the incredible effect of hormones on women. She states that hormones enlarge the communication center of the brain and therefore, women use more words that men, more quickly than men. It is obvious to her then, that the reason men become violent due to the frustration at being unable to match women’s abilities with words. Also, due to the fact that women love to talk so much, the level of pleasure chemicals excreted by the brain during communication makes that activity the next best thing to sex for them! To Brizendine, women are instinctually passive and shut down to avoid conflict as much as men try to push for it, and therefore women are physically unable to control their emotions, which is why their brain freaks out when put in these situations. While I agree that the numerous differences that exist between the sexes probably account for some differences in communication style, and while I do agree with her portrayal of women as crazy (men are just as crazy to women, I’m sure), she is overly eccentric in her belief in hormones to say the least.
Brenda Allen, however, fully supports the idea that differences are entirely culturally based. I agree with her points that treatment of people is defined by the social categorization every person receives at birth, that messages given to shape identity is biased largely by perceived gender stereotypes. This idea of essentialism, that stereotypes are given and hegemonized is definitely legitimate, as is the fact that such identities are subject to change over time, that this hegemony can be overcome. However, Allen also argues that the English language is discriminatory based on the fact that, to her mind, there are more insults to describe women than there are for men. She states that women use passive expressions innately, rather than for typically dealing with more aggressive people or out of politeness. Evidence is even given that the communication differences are entirely situational which seems to conflict with the idea that differences exist at all. Furthermore, any insight I may have on the situation, of not being empathetic to her viewpoint is disregarded as I would be considered “privileged.” Overall, I feel like both women presented poorly constructed arguments, but that parts of both are legitimate. Some differences exist between men and women, and some of those differences are biological while some are cultural.
How much is the difference in communication styles is accounted for by dealing with persons of a different (passive vs. aggressive) personality? Are women typically more passive and just varying their style of communication to placate the typically more aggressive males and to be polite to other females?
I would say with a passive person, you should ask more open-ended questions to stir up some conversation, while with the aggressive person, it might be hard to get a word in. In general, women may seem more passive because they don't want to associate themselves with being aggressive, which is a bad thing for women in today's society.
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